Happy October. To be honest with you, I’m not quite sure what happened to the earlier months of this year. They seem to have been swallowed up by some toothsome month-gobbling monster.
Oh, yeah… the hat shop! That’s what did in a lot of the year. I’m not complaining, I still love it, although the off-season has me more than a little leery of the coming months of little-to-no sales. Thankfully, we had a decent summer, so we should be ok (with fingers crossed each time I say this).
Tam has left her job with the district to work the shop full time. This means, she has moved to the coast (all I can say here is: Thank goodness for Skype!) because the commute from here to the shop is ridiculous. This means, that for the first time in my life, I’m living by myself. For the most part. Most Minor Minion will occasionally land in the Minion Nest for an extended stay, but I’m still pretty much on my own.
Middle Minion came over for dinner the other night and we that we discussed an amazing fact: Until this point in my life (current age: 53) that I’ve never lived alone! Never! I’ve always been someone’s daughter, roommate, girlfriend, wife, or mother. I’ve always had someone sharing my home. There might have been a short time between high school and my first marriage that I lived alone because my fiancé hated my roommates and he made them feel less than welcome IN OUR HOME, but that is in the past and I digress…
After a lot of soul searching and a huge bout of very dark depression, I have come to terms with my current situation, and I find that I rather like it. I’m living a very simple life and I can cut costs where I feel comfortable, and not worry if it bothers anyone else. There are luxuries I can live without, including a running furnace. I bought the damn fireplace insert to keep costs low I might as well use it to do that very thing even if it is a pain in the ass to light on occasion. I’m terrible at lighting fires, unlike Tam who can start a bonfire with a wet tissue and a dirty look.
I’ve changed my job so I actually have some energy, emotionally and physically, after work which means I can get this place ready for rent in the next couple years. I’m picking away at the whole thing for about an hour every day, but that’s better than what I had been able to do while working with in the Adaptive Behavior program (which, by the way, is why I was off work with an injury for a week). That job nearly killed my spirit and left me feeling hopeless and spent every day. Not conducive to…living, much less cleaning and caring for myself or the house.
I like my new position. I’m a 1:1 with a delightful autistic boy who is a loveable, silly, little dude. Life is looking much better, even if it isn’t quite as warm as it once was. I miss my family, I miss sharing my life with someone, but I kind of like discovering me and discovering that I can do this. I really can do this.