Sunday, February 27, 2011

Big Girl Weekend.

I had to be a big girl this past weekend, and you know what? I did it. I hated most of it, but I did it. Don’t count on it happening again any time soon, at least not with my blessing.

Schedules got mixed up and for some reason, I thought it wouldn’t bother me all that much, but it did. Not sure why, but it did. Tam went to the beach without me and I have to be honest, it really bothered me.

She loves the beach, and I will admit, I like being there too. But I also must admit to being more of a Mountains kind of gal. I’ve needed to reconnect with my beloved high country for quite some time, but we usually end up at the beach because we have a place to stay there.

However, things happened at the cabin that required some attention. There was a lengthy power outage at some point, which caused the things in the freezer to become sad and drippy. Then there was the cupboard filled with things from early this century. It’s a cabin, and things tend to hang out a long time, a lot longer than any of the visitors, unfortunately, which is why we were not too surprised to find things with long-gone expiration dates.

So, Tam headed out to the beach without me, to do some cleaning and relaxing.

And I stayed back and pouted. And sulked. And moped. It was really hard when I was driving out to pick up worm medicine for the dog, and got a face full of the most amazing mountains the area has to offer. The day was perfectly clear, and the recent snowfall made those peaks stand out and beg me to just keep moving east.

But I didn’t. I had things I needed to do, and a road trip was not part of those things. Major sadface. Not only did I have to survive the weekend without Tam, but I had to ignore the siren song of clear skies and pristine mountains.

It was like adding insult to injury.

It wasn’t a total loss of a weekend, after all, I got to have a lovely visit with a writer friend, and later, an evening of television and pizza with my boy. Plus I spent some time playing with paper; making note cards. I’ve not done that in a while, and I find it a little more soothing than the cross-stitch project that has been hanging over my head for the past several months.

That cross stitch project? It’s made by a well-known company, so you’d think it wouldn’t be so…frustrating. But I suspect this particular project was created to be some kind of practical joke put out by this company. The floss was included, but not labeled, so when two of the colors proved to be identical, it nearly pushed me over the edge.

Not only that, but the damn pattern is so crazy, there is no logical method of completing it without wasting a lot of floss. It. Makes. Me. CRAZY!

Which is why I decided to work with paper, because the last thing I needed to do was get even more warped out of shape, this weekend, than I already was.

But now there is even more potential change in the wind. Tam and I have a decision to make, an expensive, life-changing decision, and it’s going to take more than a weekend to sort through the whole thing.

Next weekend… oh, next weekend will have to be better than this one, or I’m going to flip the hell out.

Or head to the mountains.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Little Fear, A Lot of Dreams

Tam is an awesome cook. With no formal training, she can turn out an amazing meal, not just for our family, but for an entire school as well. Two schools, actually. She does her job well, supports her manager, and has spent every year working for the schools being bullied by upper management.

Seriously bullied. One of the managers will come to the school kitchen, and even if everything is going well, she’ll search until she finds something to bitch about. What’s more, she’ll blame it all on Tam, even if Tam has nothing to do with the problem.

It’s been like that ever since she started working there, and quite frankly, it’s really starting to wear on her.

And us.

I’ve wanted her to do something about it, complain to the Director, or whoever is in charge and can do something about it, but she won’t. I understand, if she complains and things go south, her work environment can go from bad to intolerable. I can relate, since I’m in a similar situation, but this post isn’t about me, at least not directly.

For my beloved Tam, things really came to a head when she was ganged up upon by menopause, depression, and the bully boss, all in one day. It was quickly resolved by a quick trip home for her menopause meds, but during her 10 minute absence, a rumor was spread that she had “had a breakdown” and that pissed her off.

Like she needed that added pile of shit dropped on her plate.

To say it was a stressful week would be a ridiculous understatement and a callous disregard of my partner’s pain.

We are big fans of the Food Network channel. We watch the shows about bad cooks, creative cooks, amazing chefs, and regular people doing something amazing with food. Tam loves to work with food, which is one reason she works where she does. But after this past week, she’s no longer sure she wants to do this.

Correction, she’s quite sure she no longer wants to work for those people. She’s also sure she wants to continue working with food. She also wants to be her own boss.

I did ask her to wait until after this summer to make her decision to quit and find employment elsewhere so we can have one last vacation together. She promised me to wait until the end of the school year to make any decisions.

So, this weekend, we’ve been discussing options, and her favorite has been the idea of opening her own restaurant. Breakfast and lunch, simple and delicious. But we both know how difficult it is to run a restaurant as well as how quickly they can fail, however, that doesn’t stop us from examining all the possibilities. Believe me when I say, there are a LOT of possibilities.

My plan will be to continue working where I am, in order for us to keep a roof over our heads. She needs to get out of that toxic environment, and I’m willing to do whatever is necessary to help her get to where she wants to be.

I will admit, it’s a scary prospect, but at the same time, I’ve also always wanted to have a restaurant, so the thought of being so close to the action is kind of exciting.

The thought of being that close to poverty is exciting, too, only not quite in the same way.

Either way, it’s going to be an interesting year once we get things sorted out.