My Smart(ass) Phone

So, it is a fact that my phone hates me. In my family, it is not uncommon for people to receive messages that sound as though an angry goblin has gotten its mitts on my phone and is promptly giving everyone on my contacts list the verbal dressing down of their lives.

Instead of “My word, today has been hard, thank heavens I’m done” goes out something like this: “Oy work, today gas Ben hase, thank heavens I’m food.” It has even started making up words. “Hase,” really?

It does not like double letters and will do just about anything to avoid them, which is why Ben keeps popping up in many of my texts.

I also ask strange questions like, “When will you be good?” But what I really want to know is when someone will be home.

Love is loud. “Loud you!” Lovely. One of my favorites is “Pee you later!” Oh, please don’t…

As for “oy,” well, to be honest, I have absolutely no idea where the hell that came from. It will also shout it, “OY!” or make it proper, “Oy,” and if I hit the “next” button, it will STILL refuse to give me “my” instead it says “ow.” It used to say “my” on the second hit, but it keeps moving the word down the list.

I’ve only recently figured out how to add words to my dictionary, but what I’d REALLY like is to figure out how to delete words (or non words) from said phone. By the way, it isn’t really one of those smart phones, because that was way out of my price range, plus you need to have internet access with the phone and that was even MORE out of my budget.

So I got the one thing that does fit my money situation, and that’s how I ended up with an angry goblin who shouts at people and garbles my messages.

OY!