Friday, February 3, 2012


Spawn works at the same school I do, so we will occasionally cross paths during the day. It’s a nice way to keep up since I dropped facebook. We had the opportunity to chat the other day, so I asked her how things were going. Her teacher is out on maternity leave, and she’s working with a sub I’ve had in my classroom before. What she told me was NOT something I wanted to hear.

Evidently, said sub has an issue with “teh gayz.” This sub actually asked Spawn if certain students are gay, then she went on to ask if Spawn thought the guy subbing in the front office was gay (probably because he didn’t flirt with her like all the other men at that school), and she’s extremely religious. Religious to the point of making my Pagan daughter quite uncomfortable, because homophobia just isn’t enough of an annoyance.

She has issues with gay people. The woman who works with my daughter has issues with gay people. Ummm, I am a gay people and I’m starting to have issues with this teacher. Big issues. Big hairy this-won’t-end-nicely kind of issues.

Tam wants her to go down in flames.

I’m not sure I want that, but at the same time, if she makes my daughter feel bad (or worse) because of her homophobia or religious zealotry, then perhaps I will grab my box of matches and we’ll just see what happens.

It might be one of those encounters where she makes a comment when I’m right there, and I can make my displeasure known and demand an apology. I talked to a friend who works at a high school and she said that several kids from my school who had moved up had also moved out of the closet. The thought of those same kids being subjected to the narrow-minded, hateful opinions of that “teacher” makes my stomach hurt. Imagine the damage she could inflict on a frightened, confused kid. It could be devastating.

The monkey wrench in all this? It turns out the sub and Spawn used to be in the same youth choir at a church we attended when the family was young and I was still trying to be a Christian. Spawn and the sub are a year apart in age and I’m guessing with their shared past this sub feel she has a connection with Spawn, a “kindred spirit” feeling on certain members of the populace. She’s wrong and we’re uncertain how to tread on this ground.

What would you do?


  1. My feeling? You have to trust that you have armed Spawn well enough that she's comfortable telling the asshat sub that her comments are unwanted, unnecessary, hateful, damaging, et cetera. Because unless something is said to you or near you, it doesn't do you (or Spawn or--frankly--the asshat sub) any good.

    If Spawn ISN'T comfortable telling the sub to back the fuck off, she needs to try to find it in her to tell a Teh Gay-friendly administrator that the comments have to stop. You are absolutely right that this person has no business spreading her nastiness to the littles, and if at any point in time you catch wind that she's being that way to or near the littles, THAT'S the time that you get involved.

    It occurs to me that this girl probably wants to either A: get a full scoop about your changed family dynamic and Spawn's emotional reaction or B: has a full scoop and is trying to make Spawn uncomfortable on purpose. Either way, my gut feeling is that unless you are directly involved, Mama has to let Spawn handle it. Does that make any kind of sense?

  2. You know, I think those comments are actually illegal beside being really offensive. I would have a really hard time not calling her on it. If it continues I would urge both you and Spawn to report it to the Principal.

    Sagacious Woman

  3. Um, hold the fucking phone. If this chick works in a school can't she get her ample ass fired for making such remarks? My ample ass would be inquiring into that shit right quick.

  4. I agree with everyone regarding getting the Administrator/ Principal involved. I don't know if the same rules apply in the US as they do here but in Australia such behaviour is grounds for dismissal. What is it with the Christians and homosexuality? It baffles me that they are so bothered by someone's sexual preference. My sister, who is the most annoying born again Christian in the world has completely alienated a long-term friend of mine who happens to be a gay man because of her bigoted comments. He isn't speaking to me now because of her behaviour. It has broken my heart because I have known him since we were both 14. At the moment I am so angry about it I'd like to run her over with my car....

    But it's not all about me. If this continues Spawn really needs to report it. It is SO unprofessional to be casting aspersions re. the sexuality of a student or a colleague. If I was the Principal I'd sack her straight away. This type of thing makes me so mad. So mad. Please let us know what happens.

  5. Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your input, and yes, if she starts/keeps up with the anti-gay stuff, then Spawn really does need to do something to put a stop to it. I do hope the gal will just drop the whole thing with a single, "This really isn't the kind of thing anyone should say/talk about here." But if it doesn't, then she'll have to take it up a level.

    Again, many thanks for your responses. It means a lot to me (and Tam, and Spawn, and...)

  6. Time to start kicking ass & taking names... Hopefully this will be resolved with minimal bloodshed, but you know I'm totally good for it if you need help hiding bodies. ^-^



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