It’s the evening before NaNoWriMo begins and this year will not see me putting fingers to keyboard at the stroke of midnight. Midnight will see my fingers, along with the rest of me, sleeping soundly. I hope. As soundly as one can when one expends restful hours listening for mischief outside after trick-or-treating should be over, or mischief inside after the Ancient of Dogs finally decides she needs to pee.
I would love to be able to get up nice and early and get started, but I know my best laid plans tend to go askew at the worst possible moments. Like tonight. I was hoping to get to bed early, but those darn little monsters keep knocking at the door, even though it’s after nine o’clock. It wouldn’t be so bad, but some of those kids are so cute, it makes my head explode.
Still, it’s NINE O’CLOCK AT NIGHT, PEOPLE, PUT THOSE LITTLE DARLINGS TO BED.
WHAT? Oh, sorry, I mean, what?
I have a sign on my front door. Actually, I have two signs up there all the time. One says, “No Soliciting” which is about as effective at deterring solicitors as a picket fence is at stopping a tidal wave. So, after having yet another person inform me that they are not soliciting, rather they are offering me a substantial savings on whatever they were selling.
So, I put up a sign that basically said, if you’re selling ANYTHING (including religion) ask yourself a couple questions, including “can I stop the bleeding in time for the rescue team to save me, or will that bitch answering the door have to bury another ‘not a solicitor’ in the backyard?”
It worked, at least for the most part. Now, they don’t knock, they just leave shit all over the front stoop. Now, I’ve included a mention of politicians and their ilk. I put the sign up on the door for tonight, because the doorbell is broken. I don’t want any trick-or-treaters to miss out on our candy because we didn’t hear them stomping around out there. Besides, if you don’t feed them, they will uproot some of your plants.
It has done a good job tonight, they’ve all knocked, and the parents are entertained, so everyone is a winner.
Except me. I’m tired and I want to go to bed, but there are people wandering around out there and I’d rather not lose any more plants to the zombies and vampires.
Tam and I put out our offering to our ancestors and now we’re about to turn into pumpkins for the night.
Hats off to an interesting October, and to what I hope will be a fabulous November of writing.