Sunday, April 8, 2012

A Not-So-Brief Recap

I was informed that I needed to do a new blog post. The one about my hair is boring. Hey, I have a good excuse for not posting. Several good excuses and none of them are unblogworthy. At least, that’s how I want my tombstone to read: “It was all blogworthy.” Either that, or “I need to put this on my blog.”

Not that I’m planning on dying any time soon, so all that could change. Of course, for a while there, I wasn’t sure…

One Flu Over the Nut House.

The last week of March I came down with a swell case of the flu. Not the 24 hour stomach virus that everyone calls the flu, oh no, this was the real McCoy: three days of high fever, sore throat, coughing, and misery. I missed four days of work that week. Of course, it was the week when none of the kids were coming because they were also all sick. Why can’t I be sick when they’re all there being their usual wonderful selves?

Ugh. Anyway, I’m all better now, but there was a point when I thought I was going to end up in the hospital. Remember kids, when you’re sick and running a fever, DRINK YOUR LIQUIDS! That was when things finally started turning around for me.

Then came Friday, the last working day of the month and the start of spring break.

But Wait, This Is Where Things Get Weird

Spring break started nothing like we’d planned. Before I got sick, we were planning on heading south to visit my folks for a few days, then swinging up to the beach to round out the week with a couple relaxing days at the cabin. When we realized I wasn’t going to be up to the seven hour ride to the Southern Kingdom, we scuttled those plans and just headed to the beach mid-week.

Of course, before all that could happen, we needed to get our schedules synchronized with Spawn because once again, we were being called upon to rescue some pets that could no longer share her domicile. Then she came down with the flu and we decided to just go to the beach and we’d deal with the critters later.

Most Minor Minion joined us on our trip, as it had been several years since he was last at the cabin. We all had a great time, relaxing, playing video games, reading (have I got a book to share! Woo-hoo! But that’s later…) and sleeping. We cruised the town, walked the beach, and flew a kite. We watched the weather go from one extreme to another and loved every moment of it. None of us wanted to leave, but the week was winding down and there were preparations we needed to make at home.

The Really Weird Part

After seven years Spawn and The Butcher have decided to call it quits. It’s been coming for a while. Mistakes and choices were made, and that was it. I’m very sad about it, because The Butcher is still my son-in-law and I will always have a soft spot in my heart for him. Some day, I hope Spawn will feel the same and they’ll stop throwing stones at each other. Being on “this side” of a divorce is very different and I’m doing my best to remain calm, level-headed, and supportive to both parties.

It’s hard, yo! I want to shake the shit out of both of them. At first, they were just separating until they could find a better place to live, one without a kajillion stairs so The Butcher could get around easier. His MS is progressing and he can’t quite manage things like he used to. He moved in with his folks, and Spawn landed with friends in a near by city. Then shit happened, hit the fan, and took no prisoners.

Remember when we took in the Winged Menace? Well, now we’ve opened our doors to two of their three cats. Spawn is a rescuer, but does not have the experience to know when to say “NO!” which is how she ended up with three cats. Three. In a very tiny, one-bedroom apartment. Anyway, with the living situation getting all crazy and shit, Spawn called and asked if we could take in two cats. She is living with people who are very allergic to the beasties and The Butcher’s folks said they couldn’t handle it.

The one we’re not taking is not a nice cat. She needs to be an only in a family with no children, no birds, no dogs, maybe fish, maybe not. She is slightly evil, and has been known to summon demons in her sleep. At least that’s what her siblings said, but they’ve been known to exaggerate a bit. She’s a lovely gray, with long legs. She leaps like a ballerina and lands like a linebacker. For such a little bit of a thing, she sure packs a wallop!

She also hates other cats. It took her a long time to warm up to the others when she was brought into the nest. Integrating her into OUR nest was not something we were up to, so we had to say no. All things considered, it was a wise choice, even if it was a bit heartbreaking.

We brought the other girls into our home and set them up in the futility room. One took up residence under the sink, while the other staked out the space behind the dryer. Crash and Burn were NOT thrilled and made their displeasure known by hissing, humming, and barfing.

The new girls were unimpressed and for a while neither of them would consider relinquishing their hiding spots, but finally the old cat, Miss Crone, ventured forth and endured the glad tidings of joy thrown their way by the resident evils. The Spook, however, will only come out when carried, and then only if you can convince her to get within arms’ reach. Not easy, when she’s ensconced under the utility sink.

Miss Crone has claimed an old pillow and a relatively high spot that keeps her safe. She’s a special needs kitty who is allergic to a lot of things put in cat food. It got so bad for a while, she lost a lot of weight and part of her lip from all the throwing up she was doing. They almost lost her and she has a permanent sneer from the ordeal. She’s a survivor and a total love. She’s mostly white with some brindle-type markings on her. It also looks like she got a bit carried away with the eyeliner.

The Spook is almost solid black, which is why she’s kind of hard to see under the sink or behind the dryer. She’s also young and unfixed, which will be the next order of havoc I’m going to wreak on that poor feline (and my budget). She’s also very loving but extremely jumpy. That combination can result in some serious pain when she’s climbing over you in order to escape whatever horror is coming her way, especially when that horror is anything that moves or makes noise. Tam opened the shower doors and I nearly had a face-ectomy. Ok, I was a little distracted myself, so I’ll take part of that blame, but come ON, naked woman! Bewbs! Other bits! Crazed cat!

Good times, folks, good times.

Well, vacation is over and we start the long haul to summer break. The next 10 weeks will be long and grumpifying, but oh, so worth it.


  1. You are so beautiful taking in all those kitties. What a bunch of characters - they each have their own personality.

    I am sorry to hear about Spawn and her hubby. It is always hard to deal with a divorce. So stressful. I have helped a few friends and both of my sisters through them and it is no fun. Please give her a hug from me XXX

  2. It is sooooooooooooooo hard not to shake the shit out of people when they are making decisions we don't think are right for them. I actually did shake the shit out of the SisterWife once....didn't end well. She shook back : ) I learned to keep my shit to myself unless my opinion is asked for. Know how hard that is for me? I've learned how to stitch my own fucking tongue, that's how hard it is.


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