Thursday, March 15, 2012

Thoughts on Pain Meds

This is not a dissertation on the advantages vs. the disadvantages of pain meds, because unless there is a serious allergy involved (I cannot take many of the “fun” pain meds because they will kill me), I am all for them.

Unless they make you fuck things up, like, oh…. taxes… yes, my darlings, I had to take pain meds for a kidney problem and decided it would be a GREAT day to do my taxes. It was two nights later, around 2:00 A.M. that I awoke with a sickening feeling that I’d forgotten something. A scruffle through my printouts confirmed my error and I ended up writing a check to the IRS for a goodly sum.

I felt it was a badly sum, but in the end I was still almost 200 dollars ahead of the game. It sucked, then I shrugged and went on with life. I had actually been thinking I was going to get nothing back and still have to pay, so my paltry sum to the good was a nice surprise.

This post is about stuff while I’m on NEW pain meds for a DIFFERENT pain. This time it’s a migraine and the meds are marvelous. There is a distinct etherealness to the world around me…wait… can the ether be distinct? Meh, who cares?

Life has been a little on the upside down side, not exactly in a bad way, but in a “so busy and tired, yet this circus act is still going strong so I need to just sit back and figure shit out” kind of way. Work is getting harder, and next year…we got some paperwork on our incoming students and let me tell you, I’m praying like crazy for an office job to open up. One gal says she’s tired of working in the office because of all the drama. I keep showing her my scars and bruises, reminding her that drama comes in all forms and no job is complete without it.

Other things keeping me busy… editing! Yes, I’m in the polishing phase of my manuscript and my biggest issue right now is cover art. Seriously, who the fuck thought that would be a problem? But it is! I have NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I’M DOING when it comes to cover art. None whatsoever.

Tam got a new phone. We’ve nicknamed it the magic pink brick of knowledge because it has everything on it. She got it for a good price (seventeen dollars after the rebates!) and it requires the internet. It got us out of a big city and right to where we needed to be (which was NOT in the big city). It has games on it, too, which is where some of my time seems to have been sucked to…off to…awaaaayyyy. (you know, these pills almost make having a migraine FUN!)

The weather has been a riotous mess. We had snow a few days ago. Then sunshine, wind, rain (sideways rain!), hail, frogs, locusts, and I do believe cats. No, wait, the cats will be in April, but that’s another blog post. I do have my feral darlings, and I’ve managed to tame another one. Every morning I go outside and do the “cat dance” when I’m trying to feed them and they want to be petted and loved. There’s a new one under the house and she’s finally to the point where she won’t run away the moment I step outside, so I’ve made progress there. I keep hoping she’ll learn to trust me so I can see her better. She looks like a silver, very pretty.

Once I get them calm and serene, I’m going to look up a place in an adjacent county where they will spay feral cats for free or low cost. That’s my goal, to get them fixed, then eventually get them good homes. But it’s going to take a while.

So, I was hanging out on the computer and I came across a blog of an old friend. We had a falling out, and there were bitter feelings, hurt feelings, and a bunch of BS that just left a lot of pain where there used to be love and kindred souls. The blog has not been updated in a very long time and I wonder what is happening that keeps it in that static state.

I miss the times we shared and I wonder if my friend does as well. I’ve been thinking about attempting contact, but to be honest, I’m a little leery. If my communication is ignored, then I guess I’ll leave it alone, but if it’s rebuffed and I’m left smarting, then there will need to be some healing again.

But I miss that friend, and not just when I’m on pain meds. I miss the old friend we had before things got strained and difficult. Before we became anchors that hindered flight instead of members of the cheering squad. I miss my old cheering squad. I kind of need to find those roots again.

And I’d love to attend a reading sometime.


  1. Since I get migraines like a motherfuckin' bitch, can you please share the name of these magic pills? Nothing has worked for me up to this point, and the one thing that has caused rebound headaches. Yes, it helps the migraine but BANG the fucker comes back the next day. Sigh.

  2. I know what you mean about reconnecting with old friends. I have one friend like that too and wish things could be as they were. But it's difficult... I hope you can reconnect.


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