When Small Appliances Die

 Saturday, the light and joy of mornings died an ignominious death, exsanguinating freshly-brewed love all over the counter. I tried all the life-saving measures known to me for small appliances, but there was no hope. I notified next of kin (the bread machine and Tammie) and plans were made. The body was dropped into the proper receptacle with a few words of thanks.

I'd kind of been waiting for that to happen. Years ago, before we moved to the coast, we'd gone through a phase where small kitchen appliances crossed the rainbow counter within mere weeks of coming to live with us. Now, we're not hard on said appliances. We do not mistreat them. We did not drop them on the floor, or into water, nor did we plug them into unsafe electrical sockets. But three coffee makers were sent to their final rest before we resorted to using a stovetop percolator, which was, to be honest, some of the best damn coffee I've ever had, but...you had to wait for it. I hate waiting.

We tried one last time and that's when the appliance gods smiled upon us and the wonder machine was procured. It took its place on our counter, serving us well through the next ten years and one move, serving us glorious hot coffee every morning. Until Saturday. After a game of "rock/paper/scissors," Tammie "won the opportunity" to seek out a replacement. Which she did, bringing home a suitable device which, while having a slightly smaller footprint than its predecessor, still promised 12 cups of joy each morning. And, it can be programmed to have coffee all ready before we are even out of bed. Providing I can figure out the proper incantation to make it have coffee ready when we get up. So far, "MAKE ME SOME COFFEE, DAMMIT!" is not it.

But the coffee is lovely, even if I have to push the button after staggering into the kitchen and groping all the counter banshees for the right button (I suspect the bread machine is into that kind of thing and will shift positions, extending the grope session). There's even a setting on the new coffee maker that we can use for BOLD brew, which is quite marvelous. It takes a little longer, but the wait is worth it. However, I am worried that if I figure out how to program it to make coffee sans grope, the bread machine will go on strike.