Just a Salad

Lunch. I haven't been feeling all that well lately, so I couldn't bring myself to fix a lunch before leaving for work. It wouldn't be a problem, because I still have a little money on account and I could get a salad. They make lovely ones there, massive piles of greens with sliced red peppers, tomatoes, broccoli and (unfortunately) celery. I have them omit the carrots because raw carrots do not like to play nice with my innards.

Anyway... it also comes with cheese, meat, and a little cup thingy of dressing. Oh, and there are seeds. Good stuff.

When I don't feel well, I'm not a nice person, and the kids were being particularly obnoxious with each other, not just in my classroom, but all over the campus. Combined with the bitter cold (I think it warmed up to a balmy 35 at recess time) and my lack of decent warm shoes, I was not a fun person to be around on the playground.  Note: I am not a fan of being handed bizarre things with the comment, "We found this in the field." I have learned to keep my hands tucked safely in my pocket when approached by anyone holding something out in front of them.

So, I got my lunch and headed for the staff lunch room. On my way there, I realized the ladies bathroom was FINALLY available, so I took a detour. It was my first big mistake. I pushed open the door, and the damn thing slammed back into me, throwing my cup of dressing to the floor where it disgorged half of it's contents under the sink. I put my things down on the little table and began cleaning up the disaster. I still needed to pee, but I felt this was more important at the moment. No, I don't know why, please don't ask.

As I was bent down with the top half of my body wedged under the sink, I was made aware of a simple omission on my part, the one where I lock the door. BAM!! "Oops, sorry." Once my vision cleared, I thought about explaining what I was doing to the person waiting for the restroom, but I figured, "naw, they already know I'm strange, one more thing isn't going to make it any worse."

In the staff room, I sat at the table and proceeded to destroy my salad, tossing bits of meat onto the floor (actually, they rolled down the front of my shirt). Did I mention there was still enough dressing left in the cup to coat these pieces of meat with sticky, oily ranch dressing? No? Well, there was. There was also enough to coat the front of my ID badge as well.

I was not having a good lunch. Someone at the table suggested a lobster bib, one with pockets at the bottom to catch wayward food.

I have a suggestion of my own, but because I like most of my co-workers, I kept it to myself. :)