Thursday, December 6, 2012

November, a.k.a. The Month That Kicked My...

November, 2012 will herein be known as the month that pretty much kicked my ass under a bus. But, as with all such activities, having your ass handed to you after it has been kicked and run over by mass transit has a silver lining. Lessons have been learned.

Important ones, too. May I? Thanks.

1. NaNoWriMo is important, but not THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THE PLANET DURING THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER. There. I said it. And? I meant it! In the past, November has been a favorite month for many reasons, the least of which had become family gatherings for a major American holiday. For me, November was my writing month. My ex (the nice, but kind of clueless guy) would give me November to write without guilt (except for the holiday, but I managed to get my word count in between basting the turkey and chilling the jello. But it was a struggle and for the rest of the year, writing was something I’d have to bargain for or suffer extreme guilt.

Now that Tam and I are together, I get to write with her blessing, encouragement, and occasionally insistence. November is now a month where I can start fiddling around with a new idea of a story (if I want), or take a break from editing The Chronicles (if I want), or spend time with my family and not worry that I won’t get my first draft finished by the end of the month. I loved having my kids over for the holiday. Future Novembers, there is hope!

2. Family: a group of people bonded together through biology and/or love, the members of which can, and will upon occasion, make ridiculous choices that can impact the ENTIRE DAMN GROUP IN REALLY STUPID WAYS. Honestly. Adult children can turn you from a simple eccentric dyke into a whirling maniac of the emotionally upheaved. Seriously children, it was bad enough when you pitched the tantrums as toddlers or had dramatic hissy fits as teens. With one exception you’re all in your twenties (almost thirties)… THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ACTING LIKE THAT, YOU NINCOMPOOPS. Save the drama for the movies. Your mommas have reached an accord and we have decided we are sick of it.

3. Parents. What the hell? My mother ordered three copies of my book. She’s not read my book, but she wanted a copy for herself and two copies to give away. She doesn’t even read my blog because she does not have a computer. When I called to see if she got the books, she said she was already into the third chapter. She said she was impressed at how good it is. Then? Then she told me she was surprised as how good it is.

She was surprised. I…just… Thanks Mom.

4. We have a new fireplace and it is wonderful. The light, the heat, the joy of sitting in short sleeves and not freezing in the house in NOVEMBER has been wonderful. We also have a way to get rid of all the wood that we’ve collected over the years while trimming the various trees and stuff in the yard. Yay! Once it has seasoned for a year, it will turn into heat. I like it. In the mean time, we must look for wood to burn… and split…

5. Technology still hates me with a fiery red passion. I needed to update my old phone. It was refusing to do certain things. Important things. Things like texting and making calls being two of them (but only sometimes), and considering that’s pretty much all I use my phone for, that rendered it pretty much useless as anything but a timepiece.

Enter new phone: It’s a smart phone and is connected to the internet all the time. Oh, jeeze. I can’t… it just…

My old phones (all of them with the capability) would link up to my bluetooth enabled vehicle without so much as a whimper of protest, but not this one. This “smartest phone I’ve ever owned” gave me no clue. I sat in my car on several occasions and attempted to introduce the two, but there was no magic. No connection. My car would sit there muttering the word “searching” and my phone would just stare into space thinking big thoughts about anything but pairing with my damn car.

Me? I’d sit there, waving the phone in front of the dashboard of the car hoping they’d see each other and go, “Oh, yeah! Hi. Let’s be friends.” The instruction manual for the phone was no better. They kept saying I needed to enter the code and tap “ok.” I tried that. It didn’t work. I was doomed to have to shout at my phone while it was on speaker if I wanted to make legal calls while driving.

Semi-legal calls, because I’d have to dial while stopped. Ugh.

Anyway, after work one day, I had to sit and wait for the parking lot to clear, so I attempted to make the connection again. This time, while it was busy ignoring the car, I tapped an icon and behold! A keypad popped up, and while there was no “ok” to tap, there was an “enter” button. I had six seconds to do as instructed or start the process all over again. Tapping in the code, I hit enter at 4 seconds and at 5 seconds, my car announced that they were paired! I married my car and phone with one second to spare! I celebrated by calling Tam.

November… let’s call it a draw and move along because December is looking pretty decent so far!


  1. Next thing you know we'll doing the "searching thing". ;) Oh I know lets get married.
    Love you with all my heart and soul plus a little bit more.

  2. I'd like more than just a second to spare though, ok? :)

  3. So excited to hear about your Mum and your book. That is awesome. I think we should bring back the use of NINCOMPOOP... it is such a great word. Now I'm going to be saying it all day. LOL.


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