SNOW!

We’ve had our first official snow of the year and oh, what fun!

As usual, there was panic because in the Pacific NW (at least in my particular area) snow isn’t that common, so when we get it we get weird. Also, we have hills. Kind of steep ones, with lots of twists and turns in them. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to get all excited and drive our cars over steep precipices, into ditches, or just leave them in the middle of the road when we realize it’s too slippery to continue in the direction we had been traveling.

It’s not that we can’t find a different way to get to our destination; it’s just that if we had to choose between the smell of our own urine and feces in an enclosed vehicle or getting out and walking, we’ll always choose a lively game of dodge-car any damn day.

That’s why I love my car. It can, and will, go anywhere, and because my mother was very good at insisting I learn how to drive in the snow when I was a new driver, I can do wonderful things with my car. Like, you know, get to where I’m going and still retain all my pee and poo inside my body. Yes, I’m THAT awesome!

The worst thing to happen to me was that time the car I was driving lost traction and we ended up in a slow 360 spin across the road, over a curb and into a field. Spawn was just a tiny monster and my first thought was “don’tletmybabygethurt.” I did not evacuate my bladder or my bowels.

Neither did Spawn. Her first thought was not PANIC! It was “Do ‘gain, Mommy.”

It could have been worse, but I kept my head and didn’t roll the car. Probably because I was going too damn slow for that to happen.

Anyway, I think the best part about the snow today was one of the kids in class. He’s never seen the stuff. We were on our way to the cafeteria, when my charge unexpectedly wheeled his chair over to some snow-covered benches and proceeded to investigate this new white fluff all over the place.

He got very excited and proceeded to tell everyone about it, wheeling his chair around like a maniac, laughing and showing everyone his…empty hand! Wait! Where’s the snow? He tried to go back and get some more, but it was lunch time and I promised him it would still be there later. Thankfully, I was right.

So now, most of the district employees are begging for a two-hour late start (which means we don’t have to make up the day later in the year). The chant has begun.

2-hour late start! 2-hour late start! 2-hour late start!